Our Old Soul Turns Nine

Abigail has always been an old soul.  I was recently thinking of something that happened when she was 2 1/2.  We were at the playground in our neighborhood and she got stung by a bee.  She tried not to cry, but got a bit teary eyed and I took her home and gave her some TLC.  I tried to make her feel better by telling her that she may have been stung, but the bee died when it stung her.  (I know this only happens to honey bees, and I doubt that is what stung her, but I thought it would make her feel better to know the bee was brought to justice.)  But this only added to her misery as she began to sob for the poor bee with her own discomfort forgotten.

That is still our girl.  Still our old soul who likes quiet time.  Still our little introvert who would rather be around 2 or 3 special people than a whole party room full of people.  For those of us lucky enough to be in her orbit,  she opens up to us in both silly and serious ways.  She is thoughtful, persistent, kind, clever and a loyal friend.  

It is good to have goals, by Abigail

Abigail is eight and in grade 3.  Lately, she has been really doing a great job taking care of her dog.  She cuddles it, reads with it, pets it.  It is the first thing she wants to see in the morning.  She often considers her dog's point of view on matters.  She has it do tricks and she feeds it.  The change has been sudden, and I thought it was because she wanted to get a new dog in December but we told her to just be better with the dog she has.

Most weeks, Abigail's teacher sends home work from the past week or month and we look through it and recycle 99% or more of it (kids generate SO much paperwork).  Last week, a banner-foldable came home with her that she did at the beginning of January.  On it, she answered questions about the year, old and new.

Here are her answers:
The best part of 2017 was:  I got to go to New York City
Something I am going to stop doing:  Hitting my brother when we fight
School Goals: To read a little faster.  To do money better. To do math better. To be good.
Personal Goal: I hope to treat my dog better.
                         --- And there it is!

Abigail's First Hike on Old Rag Mountain

Lar and I recently had the chance to go for a hike.  There is a massive 10 mile hike we want to do in Shenandoah, and also there is Old Rag, which we haven't done yet in 2016.  (Where did summer go?) But when Abigail expressed interest in going with us, we eagerly chose to hike with her on a shorter hike than go without her.  You have to nurture things like love of hiking and Broadway early!

So, we went on Old Rag on a crisp fall day, the leaves were just slightly past their peak and the temperature was somewhere in-between "I need two layers and I need only one."  Abigail only complained once around lunch time "when are we going to get there?" but when given the chance to turn around, she eagerly said that she wanted to keep going.  

We ended up going the first 3 miles up to what we call The First Break Spot, the big bald outlook before the all-rock scramble continues across the top.  (It took Abigail 1:40 to do this.) The 3 miles down from there were harder than I could have imagined.  Abigail declared "I agree with Mama.  I like going up better than down.  When you go up, the rocks help you but when you go down the rocks roll and try to trip you."  Preach it, girl.  (Wait until she has 40 year old knees!)

For lunch, we spent a leisurely half hour enjoying the view and greeting the other hikers coming past.  Abigail was by far the youngest.  Abigail loved eating Slim Jims and sipping "chicken breast soup" (broth) from a Thermos.  Larry and I loved giving her 100% of our attention for hours and hearing her stories from the world of 2nd grade.  ("We tried to spy on them at recess, but things didn't turn out as planned!" she said of the 2nd grade version of the Mean Girls.)

It was her idea to bring binoculars

We love her so much!

mmmm, hot broth on a cool hike

Where she is standing is rolling and steep.
This spot makes Larry hella' nervous, but what a great picture!

Standing on a spot that made Baba feel more comfortable.

Abigail: Best Kid Ever

Abigail continues to amaze us daily with her kindness, creativity and dry sense of humor (often times it is complexly tannin-like dry, although at other times, it does enjoy a good fart or boogie joke). She is an AMAZING big sister, with lightning-fast problem-solving skills and we adore her.

For example, the other day, Joseph had his last speech therapy in his current program (he is aging out). Suzanne, his speech therapist, suggested we get him to practice controlling his air better, such as having him puff out his cheeks full of air and holding it. Three adults couldn't get Joseph to do this if our lives depended on it. But later that evening, I causally mentioned to Abigail that it would be great if she could get him to puff out his cheeks with air, she turned away from me as if she hadn't paid attention to anything I said. But without missing a beat, she went to the playroom and said "Hey Joseph, we are going to pretend we are under the ocean..." and for the next 5 minutes she had him practicing the air thing!  


Again, today, she used her allowance to buy a new toy she really wanted.  Then she let Joseph sleep with it tonight, telling him that he could have the first turn.  

With all the talk of thankfulness this month, I don't know what Larry and I did to deserve this child in our lives!

Junior Thespian

During Mother's Day weekend, Abigail was an actress in our high school's production of The Wizard of Oz.  She played a munchkin and also a flying monkey.  She was a cute munchkin, but she was worth the price of admission (or worth the 10 hour round trip drive, according to my mom) as a flying monkey.

The first night that she was a flying monkey was opening night (as she was too exhausted and scared during the dress rehearsal to stay that late and put on the monkey costume).  While on stage, she missed her cue to stop stabbing the Tin Man and as a result, the Cowardly Lion carried her off stage and improvised a line about using up all of his courage to get rid of that monkey.  It was a hit and although Larry, who played in the pit and served as orchestral director, asked her to do that for all of the shows, Abigail is a rule-follower and hit her cues for the other shows.  

I didn't think I would be all caught up in the "stage momma" kind of thing, and I wasn't much, but wow, did I love hanging with Abbers backstage, sneaking into the house when she was onstage, and then meeting her backstage to help her with her costume change and direct her to makeup.  At first she was so timid and needed me there, but by the 4th show, she was managing it all on her own.  I was SO proud of her; it was a lot of personal growth for my introverted daughter to get to that point in just a few days.  

After her first performance, she was on a huge actor's high and stayed there until she came crashing down after the last performance when she lamented that she was sad because "I'll never get to be a munchkin or flying monkey again."  In the days following the show, she was on what was dubbed "Wizdrawl" walking around the house singing the songs and wishing that she was back onstage!  

Lar and I looked into summer camps at a local theatre where they are producing Annie this summer with children, but they require the kids to be 3rd grade and up.  So in a few years we will see if she is still bit by the acting bug!

Abigail and one of her 2 best friends back stage on opening night.
Joseph was unsure about the situation.
He became much less sure about it once he saw the Wicked Witch!

Abigail and one of her 2 best friends at intermission on Saturday as they
prepare for their performance as flying monkeys.

Our distracted munchkin down center in green top and orange skirt.

One totally adorable thing that Abigail did with her friend is that the 2 of them held
hands through the whole 15 minute munchkin scene.  Many people noticed that.  At least one
asked if they were sisters!  The munchkin children even had a part where they left that stage
walked around and back down the aisles and onto the stage again and these two
cuties held hands the whole time!

Abigail entering from the left of the photo as a flying monkey.

Abigail heading toward the Tin Man to stab him.

Abigail, scaring the living daylights out of the Tin Man

Abigail Update

In December, Abigail came home one day and asked if she could get a violin and have violin lessons.  Lar and I decided that if she could learn to read notes enough to play a little on the piano and stick with it, that we would get her a violin and lessons if she is still interested. This music trial period is also good because Lar can give her lessons on the piano.  (If she ends up sticking with the piano, I would eventually like to find her another teacher so that she can learn to play jazz and casual style music, not stilted classical music, which is what Larry plays.)

She is reading fingerings now, which I didn't know was a thing.  But, she did give her first concert, a duet of "Merrily We Roll Along" while sitting on a stack of books so that she could reach.  Too cute!

In other Abigail's Growing Up news, this happened:

It was loose for 2 weeks before she just "yanked it out" (her words" during school one day.
The Tooth Fairy left her $1 and a new electric toothbrush.
Someone told me that was low and that the national average was actually around $12 per tooth.  Foolishly, even though I know better when it comes to other people and numbers, I repeated that statistic a few times before looking it up and learned that the mode of the payout is a reasonable $1 per tooth, while the mean is $3.70. Parents aged 18-24 and/or earning less than $25,000 year are the demographic paying over a dollar.  [This data is from Time, August 30, 2013]


Not fully understanding the term, Abigail asked me to take "selfies" of her and she posed a dozen different expressions for me.  Who could resist this face?  Larry said that he read somewhere the kids stop being cute to other people (not their own parents) in the age range of 5 to 7.  I can't imagine this face not being cute to any sighted person.  (But then again, I am super biased.)

Abigail Update, for her 5th Birthday

I frequently laugh at the irony that, before I had kids, I had so much free time to blog, scrap book, edit photos and make beautiful photo albums, paint, do crafts, etc.  Now that I actually have little people to be the subjects of my hobbies, I have no time to do them.  

Abigail's birthday has come and gone.  She turned 5.  In the meantime, fall came and went for our little 4-year-old and I never could find a chance to give her the update she deserves.  

Abigail kicking white belt butt!

Tae Kwon Do:
Abigail love-love-loves TKD.  When we walk through a grocery store, she practices her forms up and down the aisles.  When she is waiting for us to make her a snack or get her a drink in the kitchen, she does her 1-step-sparring moves for her shadows being made on the wall from the soft fall sun coming in the south windows.  I know she is a little kid and not perfect, but she certainly is pretty graceful and confident when she practices her moves.  I have said for years, I love watching that kid move; she is athletic and lythe and just beautiful to observe.  In July, she tested for her yellow belt and there were only 3 kids in that rank test.  Abigail and 2 older boys.  For the sparring portion of the test, the Master made Abigail spar both boys at the same time and it was adorable and awesome to watch:  she would move toward one and then to the other and back again.  Back and forth, back and forth, she had so much confidence and just blew us away.  

The boards used for older people
are in Abigail's right hand, the boards
used for little kids are in her left.

In preparing for her green stripe test 2 months later, she broke the older kid/ adult sized board with her kick.  Master even mentioned this feat at the belt test, saying that "this little girl" had broken the thick board in practice. Abigail is really enjoying the smaller, more focused and disciplined class she has been in since she graduated out of the white class.

Ah, I remember this night.
I wish they went to bed this
easily EVERY night!

Big Sister:
After Joseph was sick in July and then had surgery, Abigail has really grown into her role as the Big Sister.  She has a 6th sense about what he needs and also about what Larry and I need.  It isn't uncommon for her to notice we are at our wit's end with him hanging onto our legs screaming because we can get dinner ready fast enough or something and she expertly distracts him and plays with him.  She is amazing.  We are not making her into a pseudo-parent or babysitter for Joseph (we know people who have done that it is isn't fair to the older kids to deprive them of childhood by making them responsible for younger siblings: Abigail still needs and deserves her own attention, to be a little kid).  But it sure is nice when she gives us a 5 or 10 minute sanity break.  She also really and truly loves him.  In the morning, it is hugs all around. She recently said that Joseph will be her first boyfriend. (Interesting note, however, is that Joseph has started getting jealous of Abigail!  If we hold her in our lap he will fly into a jealous fury.)

First Day of Kindergarten

Starting Kindergarten:
Abigail is 9 weeks into kindergarten without even a mention on this blog!  After her first day, we asked how it was.  She said "Great.  We had grapes."  But when she found out that she had to go back, she was surprised in a bad way.  She thought kindergarten was a one-and-done kinda' thing.  We have a 1st day of school pic, but there is apparently a reason that there are no "2nd day of school" pics.  It breaks our hearts when she says that she doesn't like learning, which she says on some days, but we enjoy hearing her stories about the "hard but fun" math that they do.

Star Wars:
Since we watched Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6, with Abigail this summer, she has been into all things Star Wars and wanted to be Darth Vader for Halloween.


Turning 5:
Abigail got her Darth Vader costume, a kit to make your own mummy, a wooden version of connect 4 and a yellow toy car from Lar, me, and Joseph.  Her aunts and uncles bought her several Star Wars action figures, a Star Wars wall decoration, storm trooper pjs.  All of her grandparents gave her some money, a fishing rod, and a Star Wars pillow.  She had a few friends over from school for a play-date sort of party.  Reflecting on 4, Abigail said her favorite parts were riding a horse, starting karate, and going to China.  This made me realize that it is true what I hear about kids:  they want experiences, not stuff.

Our big 5 year old!

Abigail and her bestie, making spiders
for her birthday/ Halloween.

Our Sweet, Sensitive Kid and the Giving Tree

While enjoying sushi with acquaintances of ours this evening, one aspect of Abigail's personality was pointed out to us that I never really noticed as deeply and profoundly before toinght.


I know Abigail is a sweet kid, with a big heart.  I have even mentioned that she has tried to take care of Lar or I when we have been sick, but she is a really sensitive kid too.  I don't mean the overly-emotional-cries-over-everything kind of sensitive.  I mean the understands-the-feelings-of-others kind. For example, this morning in a store to buy her another swimming suit, Abigail heard a baby/small child crying.  She was very concerned for this kid.  "The baby is crying, Mama."
"That's right, Abigail.  Why do you think the baby is crying?"
"The baby is sad.  The baby wants her mama.  The baby misses her mama.  The baby is hungry too.  Is the baby okay, Mama?"


She was very  concerned for this child that she couldn't even see and even after the child stopped crying, Abigail still wondered if she was okay.


Larry also pointed out that Abigail frequently will look at one of us during the day and say "Are you okay, Mama/Baba?" with genuine concern in her voice.

This evening, I read to Abigail The Giving Tree for the first time.  I had thought that she was too young to understand what was happening on any meaningful level and for that reason, I hadn't bothered to read it to her before.  But once again, she surprised me in a big and wonderful way.  She was so sweet and hung on every word, studied the simple pictures.  When the boy wanted money and took the apples or branches or trunk, each time, she cupped her hands together, scooped something out of thin air, and tried to hand it to the tree and to the boy, saying "Here you go!  Here it is!"  Every time something was asked of the tree, she wanted to give.  By the end of the book, she was barely breathing when she purred in my ear "They are sad, Mama."  Then she wanted to read it again.  She did, with her father the second time, with the same reactions throughout the book.


I love my sweet, wonderful child.  I only wish her birth mother could know what an amazing kid she brought into this world because this is how she came to us:  thoughtful, empathetic, affectionate, irrepressible, sensitive.  

I love it when...

I love it when she sings the alphabet.  She always starts with "Q".


I love it when she turns into a tiger right after her bath, before she is dressed, and she roars at me from atop her bed.


And I love it when she can't hold her tiger composure any longer and she collapses into her blankets in a giggly-wiggly mess.


I love it when she bursts into song and then dances to her own singing, whether it is "Ring Around the Rosie", "Jingle Bells", "Old MacDonald" or any other tune she produces from her sharp memory.


I love it when Larry and I are talking over her head at dinner and she reminds us that she is here and she is a person too and she wants a part in the conversation, darn it!, and she talks with authority (though not always in English) about whatever is on her mind.


I love it when she wraps her hands around my neck and says "I love you Mama".


I love it when she reads a book to herself or me.  And I love that her words are starting to make sense with the stories.


I love it when she is in her swing and says "Higher, higher, more higher!!" and then squeals with delight when the swing chains slack for a second and then catch her again.

Wordless Wednesday (2 Days Late)

Abigail Decides: Cribs Are SO Last Week

This week, for seemingly no reason at all apparent to us, Abigail has decided that she is too grown up for her crib. Abigail loves to play hard and loves to go to sleep for nap and at the end of the day. Sometimes even asks to go to sleep.

But no longer in her crib.

She informed me of this decision Sunday night. After reading together for a while, I tried to lift her and put her into her crib but she slid out of my lap, laid on the floor and said "Abigail no crib. Abigail sleep down floor." I asked her if she was sure and she nodded vigorously and said "yes" and curled up with her beloved Blankie on the floor as if to show me she was serious. I asked her if she wanted her other blankets on the floor, and she did. When I leaned over her and kissed her, she got a huge smile, obviously very proud that she was allowed to sleep on the floor.

From downstairs, I heard Abigail kick the floor a few times, an old habit of hers to put herself to sleep when she is excited. Then she slept all night on the floor. She hardly moved a muscle. (I know this because I checked on her nearly every hour all night to make sure she was okay!)

At 5:30, we heard a happy "bunny awake" yell from her room. When I went to greet her, she was grinning like the cat that caught the canary, obviously pleased with herself for sleeping on the floor all night.

We ordered a toddler bed for her, which will arrive in a few days. I told Abigail today that she was going to get her own bed and she could be all done with her crib. She was super excited at this news and said "bye bye" to her crib, although I explained again that she wouldn't get her own bed for 3 days and she helped me count to 3 for good measure.

When Larry got home tonight, he went into Abigail's room and saw her asleep on her mattress on the floor. He asked what was going on and I told him that she won't go in her crib, and after a half-hearted bid for sleeping in our "big bed", Abigail wanted her mattress on the floor.

Larry said "It is amazing that she makes decisions all on her own."

I replied "I suppose we better get used to that!"

(I only wish her desire to use the potty all the time for all purposes would happen as quickly and suddenly as this recent bid for grown up things!!)

The End of Summer

The daytime weather will probably remain hot for another month (fine with me) but the mornings are a cool 70-something now. Summer is also over in the sense that we are all back at school/work again until the end of May 2012.

Lar and I had a lot of fun with Abigail this summer. She learns things incredibly fast, she emulates us in almost everything we do and she has enough energy that if we could harness it, we could go off the grid!

I am posting 2 pictures from the past week. One was taken when Abigail was playing with her chalk (the pieces that Larry did not run over with the car). Somehow, she decorated her lids with blue chalk and it gave her the look of some of Larry's Milton FL friends. Pretty awful, but very funny on a 1-year-old.

The other pic shows the tan lines in the creases of her ankles from running bare-foot most of the summer. She has gorgeous skin for sure! My mom loves these tan lines.

Our Little Bookworm

Lately the only "toys" Abigail (age 20 months) is interested in (besides Elmo and Grover) are books. She reads them for the half hour after she wakes up in the morning. She devours them at the Children's Museum. When we tell her we are going for a car ride around town, she runs to one of her piles of books and grabs one to read in the car and she spends the whole trip reading it. She gets so immersed in her books that she walks backwards until she bumps into something to sit on; she is probably usually hoping for one of us, but she'll use a chair, fireplace, or even stranger's lap (again at the Children's Museum) if it is a place she can read her book. She reads to us. We read to her. She reads to/with Grover and Elmo. We read after bath and before bedtime and she can't get enough. Of course, Larry and I are delighted beyond belief that we have a little nerd on our hands!!! It really makes the whole nature/nurture angle interesting.

Anyhow, this is how we found her this evening after she fell asleep:

Bleeding Heart, for Grover

In the past 2 weeks, Abigail has discovered Elmo. Er, "Melmo." She now thinks the purpose of the TV is to play Elmo's World videos and the purpose of the computer is to play YouTube clips of Elmo and his guests singing songs. She has noticed for the first time since January that she has an Elmo doll in her toy box, an Elmo in her bathtub, an Elmo book, an Elmo cell-phone and Elmo on all of her diapers. She swings in her red swing with Elmo. She holds him while watching his videos and dancing along. She says "Bye bye Melmo" when she has to leave him to do something. Her favorite new game she made up is to hide him, pretend she doesn't know where he is, walk around calling his name, and then "discover" him, shrieking and yelling "there he is!" while going crazy with delight.

Then she discovered his companion, Grover. He has quickly joined in the fun. She loves them both.

Tonight, after we read 4 books and I laid her in her crib with kisses and "night night" 's and her blanket and her Elmo, I crept out of her room. It was her first night to sleep that she was put to sleep with anything in her crib besides her blanket. A few minutes later, I heard her crying. That is very unusual because she either falls asleep, or entertains herself with giggling and singing until she falls asleep. So I went back into her room and scooped her up into my arms and she was crying and saying something. I rocked her and tried to figure it out. I realized she was saying "Bye bye Grover Grover" over and over while crying and whimpering. I quickly grabbed her Grover doll off of a nearby chair and handed him to her and she squealed with delight at having her friend back, at being understood. I laid her back in her crib where she nestled her two best friends to her chest and fell asleep.

Larry and I are SO in love with this child. How perfectly precious and amazing and clever is she?

First Pigtails!!!

Wordless Wednesday - 18 month old photo shoot

Home and Getting into a Routine

Hello Readers!

Thank you for your patience as we have been spending the last 2 weeks getting into a routine at home. Abigail is down for the night (I think) and it is only 9:38 PM so I have a few minutes to resume blogging!

Our first week home:
It was one of the most difficult things Lar or I have ever been through. Abigail's days and nights were backwards. She wanted to be held most of the time and she only slept for 1-3 hours at any given time. I think that being sleep deprived is one of the worst feelings a person can be forced to endure. We had *no* idea how we were sleeping the same 1-3 hour increments as the Little Monster and she had the endurance and energy of a Jack Russell on speed.

Then our amazing agency came through for us again! They told us to not try to put her to bed at 7:30 or 8 like in China, but to put her to bed at 11 or midnight until she could sleep through the night and then move her bedtime back gradually as she became accustomed to our time zone. IT WORKED!!!! She now sleeps from around 10 until 6 or 8 AM and we feel much better.

After we got home, Abigail got to open her Christmas presents from Grandma Kathleen and Uncle Jim and Aunt Steph. They gave her nice clothing, books, and a doll, among other things. She is going to be spoiled rotten!

Our elderly Chihuahua Jedi has been very accepting of Abigail. Jedi circles her high chair at meal times like a shark circling a sinking raft and puts up with the pokes to her eyes and the yanks on her tail. Abigail, in return, LOVES Jedi.

As far as food goes, Abigail knows the baby sign for "food" and gets a kick out of using it to obtain a snack whenever she feels like it. She seems amazed that this easily performed communication works so quickly to meet her needs and wants. She eats everything we have tried to feed her (including curry!) except she doesn't like vegetables. Her favorite foods are cheese and bananas. She really wants to feed herself with a spoon.

Her first check-up with her pediatrician lasted 75 minutes and the doc couldn't find anything wrong with her, other than being about 4 pounds on the "too light" side of the scale. Abigail was in perfect form at the doctor's office, gregariously running around, playing with the doctor, giggling/laughing non-stop and showing off her best tricks. The doc decided that there was no reason to send her to the adoption clinic at the medical university for some TLC: she does not seem like a baby who spent her first 13 months in an orphanage.

I am amazed at the patience that this little kid has, as well as how driven she is to accomplish tasks. During her first week home, she had a shape-sorter toy that she could not figure out. I showed her how to put the cube in the square hole and the right circular cylinder in the round hole, etc. Then she practiced. And practiced. And practiced some more. She spent almost 35 minutes putting those shapes into the correct holes until she could do it quickly. She studied it, turned the shapes in her hands and studied them. She clapped for herself when she got it right. Lar and I are SO happy that we have an intellectually curious and intrinsically motivated little girl! We hope to nurture that as best as we can so that she will succeed academically and be good at something she enjoys doing.

Abigail is a few months advanced in her motor skills too. She can walk easily, pick up objects while walking and run. She is working on using crayons, PlayDoh, and eating with a spoon. She loves to dance, particularly to "Step in Time" from Mary Poppins. She can sleep through the night and if she wakes up, sometimes comfort herself back to sleep. She uses baby signs to communicate "food", "drink", "up", "Baba" (daddy), and is working on "diaper", "bath", and "doggie". She loves the swings and the slide. Her orphanage said she can fall asleep without being held, and maybe she can, but she prefers to be held and sung to softly, and why not? now that she has two parents who love her to pieces?!?