Wordless Wednesday - Ready for Rain

Wordless Wednesday - A Day Late and 3 Weeks Behind

(I know these are words and Wednesdays should just be pictures, but I just want to explain that Larry moonlighted in an orchestra pit for the musical Chicago for the past month so as the acting single parent of the household, pictures, blogging, email, leg-shaving, exercise, and all other activities were pretty much on hold!)

The More You Know: Joy & Sorrow in the Eyes of a Toddler

This past weekend, Abigail had a wonderful visit with her Uncle Dean (my brother) and Aunt Kim (his wife). Kim happens to be Korean, which in Abigail's eyes means the two of them are the same. Though I thought toddlers are color-blind, Abigail is drawn to women with olive complexions and black hair.

Also, Abigail seems to have a 6th sense about family too: without knowing what "family" is or having words for it, she is drawn to members of her family, even though they all live in different states. It probably doesn't hurt that my family spoils her rotten, with not only gifts, but also bucket-fulls of attention, devotion, and playtime.

So, we had a wonderful weekend with Dean and Kim. Abigail played hookie from day care on Friday so they could play with her. She came down with a cough and ear infection that evening and went to the doc on Saturday morning, so Saturday was a day of indoor play, rest, antibiotics, and a sick little kid. Even though she was more sick than we have ever seen her, Abigail still WANTED to be happy, to play, to have fun. She is such a good kid. When she began feeling a bit better, we took Abigail downtown to see our favorite part of the city, and we took her putt-putt golfing.

Anyhow, the point of this entry is to talk about how amazing it is to watch Abigail learn and soak up truth about the big world around her, but that at the same time, as she learns about some things, it brings her sadness and heart-break and it is difficult to watch. For example, she knows she loves her family. She loves when they visit her, dote on her, make her laugh.

But since my parents' visit this past summer, she has figured out what "bye" really means. When we say "bye" to her at day care, she grins and waves madly, yelling "bye" and blowing kisses; we'll be back before she knows it. But somehow, when Grandma and Yinski or Dean and Kim get in a car and back out of the driveway, she knows this "bye" is different. It is a more permanent "bye" and she cries and adamantly shakes her head no, trying to throw herself out of my arms, tears streaking her face and striking her shirt. Every fiber of her being is trying to not be left behind.

Powerful emotions run deep in this kid. For the past 2 days, she has been sucking on her hand, crying silently, and telling people that she feels "sad" (a new word for her). I wish I could protect her from all of the "sad" so she could just be the happy little kid she loves to be.

The End of Summer

The daytime weather will probably remain hot for another month (fine with me) but the mornings are a cool 70-something now. Summer is also over in the sense that we are all back at school/work again until the end of May 2012.

Lar and I had a lot of fun with Abigail this summer. She learns things incredibly fast, she emulates us in almost everything we do and she has enough energy that if we could harness it, we could go off the grid!

I am posting 2 pictures from the past week. One was taken when Abigail was playing with her chalk (the pieces that Larry did not run over with the car). Somehow, she decorated her lids with blue chalk and it gave her the look of some of Larry's Milton FL friends. Pretty awful, but very funny on a 1-year-old.

The other pic shows the tan lines in the creases of her ankles from running bare-foot most of the summer. She has gorgeous skin for sure! My mom loves these tan lines.

The daughter I always pictured in my mind

People who have known me for a long time are aware that I have always wanted to adopt children ever since I was old enough to form an educated opinion on the subject of having children. Adoption was always my first choice for having a family and I was fortunate enough to marry a man who also thought it was a great idea. I was told by others it was a “phase” and I would want biological children eventually.

But I don’t. I do not wish I was Abigail’s birth mother because if I was, then she wouldn’t be who she is and she is perfect in our family. The only reason I wish- even a little bit- that I was Abigail’s birth mother is for her: so she would never in her life have to realize that someone else gave her up.

As I was watching my daughter with wonder the other day, I took her in with my eyes and realized that she is exactly who I pictured she would be. When my younger self pictured my future daughter, she always looked exactly like this:

Hide-Seek-Chase

This is what it looks like when Abigail plays her version of "hide and seek" (you hide, she seeks, you chase)!

Reunion with fellow Adoptee!!

We were privileged to have the opportunity to spend part of today with a family we met when we were waiting for our flight from Seattle to Beijing last December. K and S, a wonderful couple, were actually from our same city and we were elated at the thought of being able to get to know them, and for our girls, of the same adoption group, to get to see each other periodically as they grew up. Unfortunately for us, K and S were quite literally in the process of moving over a thousand miles away, having the stressful job of closing on a house while in China adopting and getting to know their daughter!

With their old friends still in our home city, K and S brought their children for a vacation to visit and we got to see them for the afternoon. It was fun and interesting to watch Abigail and their daughter, E interact with each other. When E crawled comfortably in my lap (a very loving and affectionate child), Abigail went crazy with jealousy. Abigail, who just last week really started picking up on the concept of “mine,” was not interested in sharing her people, toys or house with such a close rival!

I really enjoyed talking to S, as though we were old friends; it was so easy, I suppose, because we sort of share one very intimate part of each other's lives, however brief the experience was. What I probably enjoyed the most, though, was seeing how much E has grown and changed since we last saw her in January. Seven months ago she was very withdrawn. Now she is a curious preschooler, almost 2 years older than Abigail, and her command of the English language is amazing. (I could understand her when she spoke. No one but family can yet understand Abigail!) E really seems thoughtful, introspective, patient and observant about her world. She was the kind of kid who always seems to be thinking something and you just want to know what is going through that head!

At the end of the day, S and I agreed that we are the two luckiest families with two of the most amazing girls ever! (We do know we are a slight bit biased!) We tried to get the girls to pose for a picture together to commemorate the reunion, but they had other ideas. Abigail scowled for about 40 of the 47 pics we tried and E was busy examining other neat things in our yard. Kids really are a blessing!!