The Bah-Humbug of Valentine's Day

My husband and I have never believed in Valentine's Day.  Not even a little bit. It is a big marketing ploy and (before we had kids) we frequently went on dates without any commercial holiday telling us when to do so. (I understand that exchanging Valentines is not a modern invention either, as it dates back several hundred years, but even within my lifetime, it has warped into absolute craziness.)

But now that I have kids, my soapbox is a little taller and my bullhorn a little louder.
I completely abhor Valentine's Day. 



This is because Valentine's Day is the new Halloween.  Kids have to exchange Valentines under the pretense that it helps them practice their handwriting. (This is what their teachers tell us.) We Gen-Xers did that too, 30 years ago, but we exchanged stupid paper things that we threw away when we got home. The modern child, however, exchanges Valentines made of candy, attached to candy, wrapped around candy, or just affixed to gruesome red treat bags full of candy.

I understand that I am not the only person who doesn't want their kid all hopped up on sugar, but my reason goes far deeper than that.

My kids' baby teeth formed and began to erupt through their gums while they were in orphanages. While their peers in families were slurping down milk, formula, and breast milk, both of my children were given warm sugar water in bottles. They received formula too, but it was cut; it was maybe half-strength. While their peers in families were exploring new foods like steamed spinach, small bites of chicken and mashed banana, by kiddos were eating watery rice and still more warm sugar water. This means that we have a huge struggle to keep our children from developing cavities. Between them, they are already up to 7. And we brush. And we floss. But we are not working with the strongest enamel so when someone thinks it is appropriate to give Starburst to 2 and 3 year olds, I want to go a little nuts.

This means that I'm the bad guy. I'm the one who goes through their bags when they get home, tossing the Starburst, Skittles and Fun Dip in the trash. I am the mean mama who has to tell my kids that they can't eat the 3 pounds of sticky sugar they just brought home for a holiday that has uncontrollably morphed from martyred Christians to hand-written letters between lovers to mass-produced chintz. So out went the last of the Halloween candy, Christmas candy, and today's cache because, don't look now, but Easter is going to be here before you know it and we have 2 more cavities to get filled before then.

Ke$ha for Kids?

Abigail's Junior Kindergarten class isn't inexpensive.  It has an amazing curriculum.  The teacher has been in the business a L-O-N-G time and is wonderful with the kids and pushes their creativity and vocabulary.  They teach the scientific method.  Abigail can provide examples of alliteration, she can monitor and adjust her feelings and reactions to setbacks by doing the TURTLE, she can use the words "fiction" and "non-fiction" correctly (something I couldn't do until junior high school, as it was called then), and she can define prototype, H2O, and citizen, and she can find an ossicone on a giraffe, which is an ungulate mammal.

The kids are used to routines and schedules and Abigail thrives in that environment.  Each day during the "centers time" the students can pick what they want to do.  The choices vary from art and writing to family living to computer center.  When I have picked her up early, I have often seen kids dancing (bouncing, really) around the computers to contemporary pop music.  I hadn't thought much of it.  

Until I heard Abigail singing in the bath tonight.  I googled the lyrics she was saying and was amazed to discover that what she was belting was a Ke$ha, sorry, now simply "Kesha" song.  During the course of the lyrics, I learned that Abigail, four and a half, likes to "brush her teeth with a bottle of Jack" and when she leaves for the night she "ain't comin' back."  I was also a wee bit surprised to hear that "everybody gettin' crunk" and "boys trying to touch my..." you know, never mind.  You get the idea.  

We aren't sure if we are going to say anything.  Maybe to some parents, that seems stupid.  I am a teacher though, and I get it.  When the kids are in "center time" the teacher is working with the kids who are still having trouble printing their name or developing journaling skills with the kids.  (Their journaling program is crazy-amazing.  I can't believe how much I have seen into my pre-schooler's thoughts just from her journal and dicatation.)  So if the teacher just hears a thumping, catchy beat and the kids are all dancing and happy, does she hear the words that they are trying to repeat?  Abigail said that the kid on the "front computer" gets to pick the Pandora station and that is how it is done.  We believe her.  It is innocent.  But the stuff our kids are exposed to, is certainly not.

My completely innocent girl,
playing with worms she caught,
before bedtime, in her PJs and cowboy boots!

Wordless Wednesday: Trick or Treat!

No, not "wordless" Wednesday.  I can't do it.  I just have to say that Abigail went trick-or-treating with 2.5 year old P.  At every door, the 4 parents prompted the kids "What do you say?" to try to get either Abigail or P to say "Trick or Treat."  But 364 days per year, that four-word prompt has trained our kiddos to reply "Thank you!"  Love it!

Bleeding Heart, for Grover

In the past 2 weeks, Abigail has discovered Elmo. Er, "Melmo." She now thinks the purpose of the TV is to play Elmo's World videos and the purpose of the computer is to play YouTube clips of Elmo and his guests singing songs. She has noticed for the first time since January that she has an Elmo doll in her toy box, an Elmo in her bathtub, an Elmo book, an Elmo cell-phone and Elmo on all of her diapers. She swings in her red swing with Elmo. She holds him while watching his videos and dancing along. She says "Bye bye Melmo" when she has to leave him to do something. Her favorite new game she made up is to hide him, pretend she doesn't know where he is, walk around calling his name, and then "discover" him, shrieking and yelling "there he is!" while going crazy with delight.

Then she discovered his companion, Grover. He has quickly joined in the fun. She loves them both.

Tonight, after we read 4 books and I laid her in her crib with kisses and "night night" 's and her blanket and her Elmo, I crept out of her room. It was her first night to sleep that she was put to sleep with anything in her crib besides her blanket. A few minutes later, I heard her crying. That is very unusual because she either falls asleep, or entertains herself with giggling and singing until she falls asleep. So I went back into her room and scooped her up into my arms and she was crying and saying something. I rocked her and tried to figure it out. I realized she was saying "Bye bye Grover Grover" over and over while crying and whimpering. I quickly grabbed her Grover doll off of a nearby chair and handed him to her and she squealed with delight at having her friend back, at being understood. I laid her back in her crib where she nestled her two best friends to her chest and fell asleep.

Larry and I are SO in love with this child. How perfectly precious and amazing and clever is she?