The daughter I always pictured in my mind

People who have known me for a long time are aware that I have always wanted to adopt children ever since I was old enough to form an educated opinion on the subject of having children. Adoption was always my first choice for having a family and I was fortunate enough to marry a man who also thought it was a great idea. I was told by others it was a “phase” and I would want biological children eventually.

But I don’t. I do not wish I was Abigail’s birth mother because if I was, then she wouldn’t be who she is and she is perfect in our family. The only reason I wish- even a little bit- that I was Abigail’s birth mother is for her: so she would never in her life have to realize that someone else gave her up.

As I was watching my daughter with wonder the other day, I took her in with my eyes and realized that she is exactly who I pictured she would be. When my younger self pictured my future daughter, she always looked exactly like this: